WASHINGTON – What better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day than by writing a letter to those you truly care about? For Health and Human Services Secretary Alex Azar, these are his friends in the pharmaceutical industry. Here’s an imagined look at what Azar, Big Pharma’s best friend, might write in a Valentine:
Dear Big Pharma,
In a show of my affection for you and the entire pharmaceutical industry, I wanted to remind you that I’m still on your side – I’ve stayed true to our practice of spiking drug prices on hard-working Americans, even though I technically don’t work for Big Pharma anymore.
Since I left Eli Lilly, where we where we raised prices on life-saving drugs, I’ve sat by, watching your drug prices increase and doing as little as possible to stop them. That’s better than candy and flowers, isn’t it?
I’ve seen that you’ve been using your recent profits to dole out more cash to shareholders in the form of stock buybacks lately – great move. I do miss you all dearly, but I’m comforted to know that as soon as my job as Secretary of HHS is over, you’ll be there for me again – welcoming me back with open arms (and a much bigger paycheck).